Billy Bubblegum


born:  Menlo Park, NJ (that's why he's called 'the other wizard of Menlo park' [not to disparage Thomas Edison) At age 3, the family moved to Muleshoe, TX when Billy's dad won a promotion to District Sales Manager for Amway.

Parents:  William Jefferson Bubblegum, District Sales Manager for Amway (West Texas division), and avid Canasta player, croquet player, and amateur badminton line judge. Bernice Atilla Bubblegum, nee Bates, winner of the Tom Bean County Fair Quilting Bee of 1961, known far and wide for her New England boiled dinners.

Education:  Muleshoe High School, member of the Muleshoe Marching Marsupials Band, Secretary of the astrology club, third-place in the school horse shoes tournament

Hobbies:  butterfly collection, Sudanese cooking, long walks

Marital Status:  engaged to Helga Bertha Listz, former East German luge champion. Met as penpal 1996.

Current Residence:  Davey Crockett State Prison, TX

Crime:  possession of counterfeit Dallas Ballet tickets

Career Plans:  hopes to be employed as a theater usher or concession worker at Dallas Stars Hockey games.

Life's biggest thrill to date:  sat in audience for "The Price Is Right', 1978

Cell Door Articles:

Prison Ain't No Place for Billy Bubblegum

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Last Update 09/05/09